There are few things in life that I feel strongly that I can make a difference in. I firmly believe that everything we do in life makes a difference from getting stopped at a red light or even picking up a phone. However, I usually don't think I can or very few people can cause impact like Martin Luther King Jr. did. With every great person has come suffering and its just not something many of us are willing to endure for something we may believe in. I would give my life to see a certain policy changed because I feel it is so detrimental and wrong. I've spent hours researching this topic to write a good research paper and in the process a spark for change has been ignited into a flame. I'm going to support the president in anyway possible to get rid of the Don't Ask Don't tell policy that is plaguing our military. If you aren't familiar with it it removes homosexuals who are serving their country on a daily basis, shedding their tear and giving their hearts and souls for their country.
I served under the reign of this policy and I know that it is horrible. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about my friends and future people not gays/str8s/lesbians/bisexuals, but any person who has to endure that kind oppression. I really hope that people take the time read my research paper and even this, and let me speak my mind on this matter that I feel so strongly about.
I'm going to write my first letter to a congressman and really don't know how. I'm not a professional person or political minded at all and I pretty much write like I do in my blogs. I'll call up there and make sure I send it to the write person I don't even know if I can request a meeting or even if it will do any good. I'll end up asking people at school tomorrow. Its 213 AM now and I have a 9 AM class :C. You know what though I don't know how anyone can sleep when they think about this horrible policy. I understand clinton did it it to help people. people who were being killed by their own co workers for their sexuality, but like he said it was suppose to just be temporary.
I can't be so bold as to end my blog today with my normal gay fun toast that I feel applies/works for everyone. The thing I have to say tonight is before I go to bed is :
I don't care if you hate homosexuals or disagree with them and that is your privileged and your opinion matters. However, how dare anyone disrespect someone who is serving their country and willing to give their life so you can have that thought of hate/disapproval towards homosexuals. I may be a 23 y/o gay guy who is outspoken in class and have outlandish statements sometimes and people can have whatever opinion they want of me. However, no one knows what I went through in the military, I shed blood for this country and I really just can't even express the memories of military life sometimes. So I'm glad I got to take this class because of this project and I'm not going to be posting anymore on this blog until after this class because people will be reading this. I'll start again after this though. I've found blogging to be a great outlet.
Integrity First, Service Before Self, Excellence in all we do the core values I lived by for years. To bad I wasn't able to have integrity and had to lie to the people I cared about in the military, and the people I worked beside. That really helped morale and unit cohesion though of course.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Desire For Achievement
Its 915 PM right now and I got here today at 4 PM when I found out the library closed at like 5 I was thoroughly upset. Then I realized I'd come to the 24 hr computer lab to get the rest of of my research done for my project. I can't believe I've spent just this long researching. I sent all the newspapers to myself to read through on Sunday/Saturday night because I'd like to get some of my stuff done early because of the surgury I have coming up. Then Saturday I have work and I'll try to write my ethics paper there. Which may be a little difficult because I spend all morning snuggling next to my hottie guy from Kent :D I know I'm a traitor.
To top it all off I look at my schedule for summer and I start my psych class on Monday. Those are going to be some long days. I also love that this blogger thing doesn't have a spell check thing where it autimatically underlines what you say because I would totally have to spend more time on this if it did because I always try to make sure things look nice and that red line or green line usually agitates me. Okay but now where was I oh yeah so I get like 9 days off between summer and fall. Then I'm taking two labs, microbiology, organic chemistry, intro to nursing, and intro to sociology I may add one more in there to not sure just yet though. I think I'd rather focus my attentions on getting A's in the classes that I singned up for, but yeah thats a lot of stuff. Why do we do these things? To become a better person to make sure that we suceed in life. I see it every day all these people who have problems with the econmy and I just know that I dont want to end up being one of those people and oh my god i have a sunday class that his horrible. Its just so hard to balance evertyhing. I want to be with someone who I care about and all that stuff but at the same time I dont feel like I have time for someone. Well its nearing 10 oclock and I have to go charge my phone, clean my house, double check library hours , go to the bar, hook up, and then wake up for work in the morning to start another long strenuous day.
Sunday I'm going bike riding to cleveland that should be a blast and good excercise and good time in the sun.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
To top it all off I look at my schedule for summer and I start my psych class on Monday. Those are going to be some long days. I also love that this blogger thing doesn't have a spell check thing where it autimatically underlines what you say because I would totally have to spend more time on this if it did because I always try to make sure things look nice and that red line or green line usually agitates me. Okay but now where was I oh yeah so I get like 9 days off between summer and fall. Then I'm taking two labs, microbiology, organic chemistry, intro to nursing, and intro to sociology I may add one more in there to not sure just yet though. I think I'd rather focus my attentions on getting A's in the classes that I singned up for, but yeah thats a lot of stuff. Why do we do these things? To become a better person to make sure that we suceed in life. I see it every day all these people who have problems with the econmy and I just know that I dont want to end up being one of those people and oh my god i have a sunday class that his horrible. Its just so hard to balance evertyhing. I want to be with someone who I care about and all that stuff but at the same time I dont feel like I have time for someone. Well its nearing 10 oclock and I have to go charge my phone, clean my house, double check library hours , go to the bar, hook up, and then wake up for work in the morning to start another long strenuous day.
Sunday I'm going bike riding to cleveland that should be a blast and good excercise and good time in the sun.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
A More Socialist America: Turmoil or Solution
Something that I've always heard that I firmly believe in is that all it takes in this world for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing. In ethics today anger at the way our country works just brought me to tears. We watched a video on our healthcare system and how health insurance companies do nothing but try to prosper. It talked about how families lost loved ones because insurance people wouldn't pay for nesecary treatments. It talked about how we are like #37 as far as healthcare goes right under Cuba. The video talkeda bout how politicians even try to prosper from our corrupt healthcare system. It talked about how many years ago Hillary Clinton, whom I voted for in the primarys but gladly voted for obama since she didn't win that, tried to reform our healthcare systme and people accused of her of trying to socialize america. People burned images of her and republicans and insurance companies spent millions trying to shut down her plan. Her plan to help this country. Someone who could have helped America had its chance and ruined it. I truly feel that people like me can't make a difference on these types of matters not now in my life. It sucks to feel powerless to right wrongs that you can see around you.
As I go to school now for my nursing degree I dont think I can imagine turning down someone because they dont have the propper insurance. Letting someone die or sit there scared is just wrong. I mean as a medical professional , I took an oath. I might complain about fat people and nasty people who dont take care of themselves and go to extremes when talking about them but that doesn't mean I dont care about people as a whole. So all I can say is so what if we have a damn socialist healthcare system, I will gladly give up having a 5 million dollar home and driving 6 cars to make america better.
Even beyond that what kind of justification do you have for giving schools in more poverty type areas less money.... Does that even make since. So because your parents make less money you get less of an education. Sounds fair right? When I was a kid I used to pretend that I'd be able to reshape the world how I wanted. I had a wild imagination. I really wish I could do some of the things I imagined. Some stuff sure seems unfeasable or to much of a hassle, but people just really need to start caring about other people. Like I said in my last post pray for these homeless people around you. Or you know what I might be gay but I still believe in God and the bible and Jesus and know that when he returns I'm going to join him in the sky. Let Jesus come back again already. Let this world along with the evils in it deal with the 7 year tribulation and then cast all the wickeds with it into the lake of fire, I know you can tell I'm Baptist right? I'm not perfect and no one is but still there are just some people in this world that are truly evil. Bush for example. He should be tried with murder in a half. I know politics isn't good to talk about in a public type forum but whatever its my Blog its how I feel. Its definitly how I felt when I had to tell people they wouldn't walk again, or listen to people beg me to make the pain go away, and I couldn't because I had so many patients that I just didn't have time to get to everyone. I'm glad Bush made money off this war though. It was suppose to be a war on terrorism which I agreed on, but not Vietnam #2. I know I go off on tangents but whatever.
Then next for my research paper I'm going on the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy. I got told I was a disgrace to the uniform because I like guys.... yeah after all I did for my country I'm a disgrace thats stupid and a half. Oh well I need to do my research paper and I hope that people take the time to read this , get to know me better and when you read my research paper/see my presentation you agree, because although I believe that I might not make a difference in what I say, if I can get people to suppor tthe people who are trying to change this world for the better than great. Obama said he was going to repeal the dont ask dont tell policy and right now hes got so much on his plate I'm not going to be so bold as to complain because he hasn't had time to do it yet with all the stuff that moron bush left him on his plate. When it comes down to support him when he says it is time to get rid of the dont ask dont policy you better believe that I will be htere on the front lines ready to fight for what I believe in.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Woman
As I go to school now for my nursing degree I dont think I can imagine turning down someone because they dont have the propper insurance. Letting someone die or sit there scared is just wrong. I mean as a medical professional , I took an oath. I might complain about fat people and nasty people who dont take care of themselves and go to extremes when talking about them but that doesn't mean I dont care about people as a whole. So all I can say is so what if we have a damn socialist healthcare system, I will gladly give up having a 5 million dollar home and driving 6 cars to make america better.
Even beyond that what kind of justification do you have for giving schools in more poverty type areas less money.... Does that even make since. So because your parents make less money you get less of an education. Sounds fair right? When I was a kid I used to pretend that I'd be able to reshape the world how I wanted. I had a wild imagination. I really wish I could do some of the things I imagined. Some stuff sure seems unfeasable or to much of a hassle, but people just really need to start caring about other people. Like I said in my last post pray for these homeless people around you. Or you know what I might be gay but I still believe in God and the bible and Jesus and know that when he returns I'm going to join him in the sky. Let Jesus come back again already. Let this world along with the evils in it deal with the 7 year tribulation and then cast all the wickeds with it into the lake of fire, I know you can tell I'm Baptist right? I'm not perfect and no one is but still there are just some people in this world that are truly evil. Bush for example. He should be tried with murder in a half. I know politics isn't good to talk about in a public type forum but whatever its my Blog its how I feel. Its definitly how I felt when I had to tell people they wouldn't walk again, or listen to people beg me to make the pain go away, and I couldn't because I had so many patients that I just didn't have time to get to everyone. I'm glad Bush made money off this war though. It was suppose to be a war on terrorism which I agreed on, but not Vietnam #2. I know I go off on tangents but whatever.
Then next for my research paper I'm going on the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy. I got told I was a disgrace to the uniform because I like guys.... yeah after all I did for my country I'm a disgrace thats stupid and a half. Oh well I need to do my research paper and I hope that people take the time to read this , get to know me better and when you read my research paper/see my presentation you agree, because although I believe that I might not make a difference in what I say, if I can get people to suppor tthe people who are trying to change this world for the better than great. Obama said he was going to repeal the dont ask dont tell policy and right now hes got so much on his plate I'm not going to be so bold as to complain because he hasn't had time to do it yet with all the stuff that moron bush left him on his plate. When it comes down to support him when he says it is time to get rid of the dont ask dont policy you better believe that I will be htere on the front lines ready to fight for what I believe in.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Woman
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
A Fat Week,Five week courses, and Homeless People
I feel so gross this week. I know I"m still under 190 which is good because back in January I weighed 215 lbs. It was ridiculous I was at the doctors office for a routine checkup when I was told that I was a little overweight and that my cholesterol was bad. I started exercising daily and no more fast food. Lately with the holidays however I have been kind of slacking and it really is disappointing. Even beyond that I can't seem to really find time to work out because of all these courses I'm taking.
Its funny because my brothers/family call me lazy because I only work a part time job but I go to class from 945-4 PM every day. I will be sooo happy to go back to my boring sixteen week classes which are a lot less stressful. I dont regret taking five week courses because I think that they are a quick way to get done, but perhaps I could have spaced them out better. Beyond that it would be a lot better if I would just make sure that I took the time to make sure that I just get the work done.
I've been so tired that I've like actually had to spend money on coffee and such to have energy to get through the day. I really regret doing that because I quit smoking because I hated the idea of spending 6 dollars a day on a pack of cigarettes and then driving by someone who is starving. I try to avoid things that I deem a want instead of a nessecity for that simple reason. There used to be a song called " What if hes an Angel" about how what if these people that are out here were angels sent here from heaven making sure we're doing our parts. I dont believe that homeless men are truly angels testing us but really all of us should be thankful that we're not homeless and pray for our economy and people that are out there and less fortunate then us. 2 and a half more weeks to go of English and Ethics, then 5 weeks of psychology I hope that ends up being fun and a little bit easier than the other two. Hopefully its as easy as intro and I can finally be done with MLA!
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women
Its funny because my brothers/family call me lazy because I only work a part time job but I go to class from 945-4 PM every day. I will be sooo happy to go back to my boring sixteen week classes which are a lot less stressful. I dont regret taking five week courses because I think that they are a quick way to get done, but perhaps I could have spaced them out better. Beyond that it would be a lot better if I would just make sure that I took the time to make sure that I just get the work done.
I've been so tired that I've like actually had to spend money on coffee and such to have energy to get through the day. I really regret doing that because I quit smoking because I hated the idea of spending 6 dollars a day on a pack of cigarettes and then driving by someone who is starving. I try to avoid things that I deem a want instead of a nessecity for that simple reason. There used to be a song called " What if hes an Angel" about how what if these people that are out here were angels sent here from heaven making sure we're doing our parts. I dont believe that homeless men are truly angels testing us but really all of us should be thankful that we're not homeless and pray for our economy and people that are out there and less fortunate then us. 2 and a half more weeks to go of English and Ethics, then 5 weeks of psychology I hope that ends up being fun and a little bit easier than the other two. Hopefully its as easy as intro and I can finally be done with MLA!
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Exhausted
Beyond dealing with all the crazy driving escapades of getting pulled over for speeding on the ohio turnpike half way between Toledo and Akron, then getting told I had to leave my car there until Monday which was three days later until I could back with the registration because I had forgot to register it when my birthday passed, having to sneak back to my car and drive it home and such. I have to go home clean up everyone else in my houses mess because they are nasty slobs. I was so tired today that I was literally falling asleep sitting up in ethics. I had to give my professor my assignment and apologize and leave because it was very rude of me for sleeping in the middle of class.
I hate going to places like starbucks and spending five dollars on a frapachino with expresso stuff in it, but I just really had to to make it through the rest of the day. It just makes me feel bad because five dollars is a lot of money when you see a homeless person on the street. Five dollars could buy a big thing of oatmeal, which seriously will keep you well fed for a 2-3 weeks if you're poor.
I feel like I'm in the writing lab everyday with rough drafts, polished papers, ethics papers and redoing other english papers that I did poor on. I'm just trying my best it seems. I'm starting to think I may have overloaded myself but I know thats not the case I just need to starrt getting up eating my oatmeal everyday taking my little energy pills that I normally used to take. I'm doing really well without smoking. Sometimes I try not to put the patch on and then I usually end up taking like 2 hits of a cigarette but then I throw it out the window. The only reason why I even have cigs in my car is because I still like to smoke when I go out to a bar and am drinking and stuff.
I truly do wonder how people will react to these blogs that my group is doing. I really think blogging is a good way to be an outlet and such. I wish that I would take more time to do it all everyday, I think that it would just make me feel better overall. Oh my soul though things may be going fast right now but I'm sure that I'll complain once I start taking my boring 16 week courses and they are long, drawn out and way to slow. Maybe once I get on a good schedule I'll be fine but its been so hard to keep a balance.
We'll call it osmosis today cause I remember something in Ethics today about how virtue is keepinga balance between things I really need to find a balance and also I can't wait until my stupid lease is up so I can get out of that apartment. I mean I like having a nice place and 800 $ a month isn't bad by any means whatsoever, but my brothers live with me now and I feel bad kicking them out so when its up I just get to move. I'll probably end up finding roomates because I'd much rather live in a nicer place with people than in a junkie place by myself. You see the wonder about these blogs is that you can type on and on and on and I totally told myself that I would make a quick entry before I finished up my rough draft and now have limited myself time on my rough draft, but I think the writing lab this morning helped with that. We'll see how critical my peer reviewers are today.
By the way isn't my toast like the best? I really feel it fits all crowds of people well.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
I hate going to places like starbucks and spending five dollars on a frapachino with expresso stuff in it, but I just really had to to make it through the rest of the day. It just makes me feel bad because five dollars is a lot of money when you see a homeless person on the street. Five dollars could buy a big thing of oatmeal, which seriously will keep you well fed for a 2-3 weeks if you're poor.
I feel like I'm in the writing lab everyday with rough drafts, polished papers, ethics papers and redoing other english papers that I did poor on. I'm just trying my best it seems. I'm starting to think I may have overloaded myself but I know thats not the case I just need to starrt getting up eating my oatmeal everyday taking my little energy pills that I normally used to take. I'm doing really well without smoking. Sometimes I try not to put the patch on and then I usually end up taking like 2 hits of a cigarette but then I throw it out the window. The only reason why I even have cigs in my car is because I still like to smoke when I go out to a bar and am drinking and stuff.
I truly do wonder how people will react to these blogs that my group is doing. I really think blogging is a good way to be an outlet and such. I wish that I would take more time to do it all everyday, I think that it would just make me feel better overall. Oh my soul though things may be going fast right now but I'm sure that I'll complain once I start taking my boring 16 week courses and they are long, drawn out and way to slow. Maybe once I get on a good schedule I'll be fine but its been so hard to keep a balance.
We'll call it osmosis today cause I remember something in Ethics today about how virtue is keepinga balance between things I really need to find a balance and also I can't wait until my stupid lease is up so I can get out of that apartment. I mean I like having a nice place and 800 $ a month isn't bad by any means whatsoever, but my brothers live with me now and I feel bad kicking them out so when its up I just get to move. I'll probably end up finding roomates because I'd much rather live in a nicer place with people than in a junkie place by myself. You see the wonder about these blogs is that you can type on and on and on and I totally told myself that I would make a quick entry before I finished up my rough draft and now have limited myself time on my rough draft, but I think the writing lab this morning helped with that. We'll see how critical my peer reviewers are today.
By the way isn't my toast like the best? I really feel it fits all crowds of people well.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sex, Drugs, and World of Warcraft.
Life is such a crazy thing. I play a game World of Warcraft and I have an acquaintance on the game who lives in Toledo who is just 18 but I figured it would be fun to hang out and drink and have some fun. I really felt kind of stupid by the time 4th of July weekend was over because I had wasted my time picking this kid up who was a completely stereotypical videogame player. All he did was whine the whole time, didn't want to do anything fun, and only wanted to smoke weed. Beyond that it ended up costing me a lot of money not because of him but because I still really need to get used to the fact that you can't drive 100 MPH here in the states. I ended up giving my brother money to take the annoying kid home.
Despite the monstrocity of flab that was in my home this weekend it really was crazy my best friend since like before the whom hung out with me and he smoked weed for the first time and it was hilarious. I was like shocked at how he acted on it. Homeboy was trippin :D. I still dont really like drugs but it is funny to see other people on them. Even beyond all this I kept telling myself I wasn't going to wait till the last minute to do my homework. I really dont think I'll ever learn my lesson.
I finally sat down Sunday at 8 PM to do my schoolwork and then the love of my life calls me up. Okay he just doesn't realize hes the love of my life, but he wanted to go out and oh my screen broke on my cell phone and I normally avoid his calls becuase hes one of those straight guys who is only gay when hes drunk and it really is rude of him to be like that with me. Well but I heard his voice and hes like come on Eric lets go out tonight. So I ended up being out and up till like 4 AM. I woke up at 10 today took a shower brushed my teeth and did my homework. My ethics paper really was fairly simple and my English Declaration of Topic was almost done already.
I did have fun this weekend, but you know in the end I'm really disapointed in myself because I wanted to have more done than what I did. I still struggle to work out on a regular basis. Also I really should have just ignored that guy I like. I don't like it when people say a guy /girl doesn't respect themselves just because they sleep around a lot, but I really do feel that this person is disrespecting me and I completely allow it. After this weekend I get to struggle to get things done that I should have had done, do car work that should have been done, get a new cell phone, and mope over the fact that I'm just smitten over someone who doesn't really care about me the same way I care about him.
Such is life however. I refuse to be depressed over such petty things but just take care of them and breathe in breath out put one foot in front of the other. I'm a grown man who really should be above such crushes and childish things but that doesn't mean I don't have fun or that I'm not human. I still have feelings I just need to not let my emotions get the best of me.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
Despite the monstrocity of flab that was in my home this weekend it really was crazy my best friend since like before the whom hung out with me and he smoked weed for the first time and it was hilarious. I was like shocked at how he acted on it. Homeboy was trippin :D. I still dont really like drugs but it is funny to see other people on them. Even beyond all this I kept telling myself I wasn't going to wait till the last minute to do my homework. I really dont think I'll ever learn my lesson.
I finally sat down Sunday at 8 PM to do my schoolwork and then the love of my life calls me up. Okay he just doesn't realize hes the love of my life, but he wanted to go out and oh my screen broke on my cell phone and I normally avoid his calls becuase hes one of those straight guys who is only gay when hes drunk and it really is rude of him to be like that with me. Well but I heard his voice and hes like come on Eric lets go out tonight. So I ended up being out and up till like 4 AM. I woke up at 10 today took a shower brushed my teeth and did my homework. My ethics paper really was fairly simple and my English Declaration of Topic was almost done already.
I did have fun this weekend, but you know in the end I'm really disapointed in myself because I wanted to have more done than what I did. I still struggle to work out on a regular basis. Also I really should have just ignored that guy I like. I don't like it when people say a guy /girl doesn't respect themselves just because they sleep around a lot, but I really do feel that this person is disrespecting me and I completely allow it. After this weekend I get to struggle to get things done that I should have had done, do car work that should have been done, get a new cell phone, and mope over the fact that I'm just smitten over someone who doesn't really care about me the same way I care about him.
Such is life however. I refuse to be depressed over such petty things but just take care of them and breathe in breath out put one foot in front of the other. I'm a grown man who really should be above such crushes and childish things but that doesn't mean I don't have fun or that I'm not human. I still have feelings I just need to not let my emotions get the best of me.
Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What a Week
This week has been insane. I realized that first off school especially summer classes takes a lot of discipline. I find myself struggling with doing all the things I have to do, which is quite unusual. I've got a lot of plans ahead and I know that if I want to do good I need to manage my time better. The writings/readings I've had to do for class have been interesting to say the least, and its interesting interacting with other students.
The next thing I realized was that guys are whores. I mean I just randomly have sex with like any hot guy. Its ridiculous. Even beyond that I've realized that guys will do whatever it takes and play whatever games to get what they want.
My tan is getting so good and my abs/arms have been so sore from working out, I can't wait till I get six pack abs. If I don't keep up on my appearance now even not looking at it from a shallow point of view I know that I'll look like these nasty fat slobs that I so despise. People may think that I'm this radical,insane guy but I just have a weird thought process and overall I try to be the best person that I can be. I think that blogging will be interesting and I'm interested to see responses and how other people in my groups blogs go. I also intent to spend more time on these in the future. To make it a more personal level. I think that doing it daily instead of now at 2:40 AM when I just remembered that I had to do this and that I needed to do my springboard assignment will be much more intimate and fun.
Until Then... Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women
The next thing I realized was that guys are whores. I mean I just randomly have sex with like any hot guy. Its ridiculous. Even beyond that I've realized that guys will do whatever it takes and play whatever games to get what they want.
My tan is getting so good and my abs/arms have been so sore from working out, I can't wait till I get six pack abs. If I don't keep up on my appearance now even not looking at it from a shallow point of view I know that I'll look like these nasty fat slobs that I so despise. People may think that I'm this radical,insane guy but I just have a weird thought process and overall I try to be the best person that I can be. I think that blogging will be interesting and I'm interested to see responses and how other people in my groups blogs go. I also intent to spend more time on these in the future. To make it a more personal level. I think that doing it daily instead of now at 2:40 AM when I just remembered that I had to do this and that I needed to do my springboard assignment will be much more intimate and fun.
Until Then... Cheers to Queers and Sexy Women
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